Ron's Stag Night
by BabochkaX
Summary: An evening with the boys


"Ron, pass those-um- crisp thingies," George called across the small room where they had settled in shell cottage. Bill had offered up their house for Ron's final night of freedom, while Fleur and the children had headed over to the Burrow to join Ginny and Hermione for the girl's night.

The six boys were gathered in one of the upstairs bedrooms of the little cottage. Ron remembered the bedroom well, but not for good reasons, for reasons he didn't like remembering. Four years earlier Hermione had lain on the bed- wrapped in a quilt and bleeding, her breathing still fast from the cruciatus curse- and he had prayed none of her bite wounds had been inflicted by the damn werewolf.

Today however the little single bed had been pushed off to the side of the room, Bill now reclined on it looking around the room at the others who had situated themselves on beanbags or bits of floor. In the middle of all the boys a space had been cleared and in the space lay bowls and bowls of crisps, nuts and sweets. Surrounding the bowls were bottle after bottle after bottle of whiskey and beers of all kinds, magical and muggle.

Ron surveyed his guests, he hadn't really wanted a stag do, he didn't feel there was any point in celebrating his freedom when he couldn't wait to lose it. Tomorrow morning at the Burrow he would marry Hermione Granger, the girl he had once denied even liking as a friend, and now saw as the most beautiful and perfect person he could ever love- not that she didn't still have her issues of course.

Charlie- Ron's eldest brother- had managed to corner Harry and was leading him into one of his enthusiastic conversations about Dragons. George rolled his eyes in their direction when Ron got up to hand over the terracotta bowl of those prawn cocktail crisps that Hermione had introduced them to- the funny shaped pincer ones. "Does he ever shut up about Dragons?" George said loudly, hoping to catch the attention of Charlie and lead Harry out of his current predicament.

"Yeah," Bill added from atop the bed, speaking loudly also to drop the hint, "You'd think he was in love with them or something- I mean has he ever even looked at a pair of boobs?"

Charlie, looked up suddenly dragged from his conversation. He smirked and stood before diving at Bill with an added, "I've seen more breasts than you have that's for sure!"

"ooh, breast's is it?" George mocked in a voice which sounded an exact replica of Percy's.

"I do not sound like that!" Percy retorted angrily.

Harry broke the tension, "Put it to a tally," he shrugged, they all looked at him for a brief second in confusion, and then- all nodding- they agreed to do so.

"Right then Charlie," Ron began, grinning, "let's start with you." Ron knew that this would make Charlie squirm. He was sure his eldest brother was gay by how little attention she showed to girls. Unbeknown to Ron however Charlie's trustworthy and gentle nature had earned him more experience than he would normally have admitted.

"Wait," George piped up, "are we counting per boob or per pair?"

"Per pair, you idiot," Percy replied, "Not many people have just one!"

"Ooh, that'd be rough luck," Bill murmured under his breath so only Ron and Harry could hear him, both sniggered.

"Go on then Charlie," George said, curious about their odd older brother.

Charlie looked blank for a moment, staring into space while he thought.

"And Dragon's don't count Charlie," Ron called from across the room, earning himself a whoop from the other boys. Despite the small desire in the back of his head to go home and curl up in bed with his fiancé, Ron was beginning to enjoy himself. He was actually curious- muggle brothers talked about this a lot according to Harry and Hermione, but the Weasley boy's rarely mentioned the wands they were born with- or anything else related to procreation. Not since they had all been sat around the kitchen table when Ron was eight and told by their father where Witches and Wizards came from.

"Seven." The word left Charlie's mouth and for a brief moment no one knew what he was talking about.

"Seven!" George cried in disbelief, "Name them."

"They don't come with name tags George," Bill teased.

"Persephone Leeds, Asha Redman, Jana Rubeck, Fiona Rice.. ugh… Harrietta Lewisham, Brigitta Jacobs and Rebecca Jones."

"He's making it up!" Harry said, swatting away the idea with his hand.

"I'm not," smiled Charlie before he continued, "You next Bill."

Bill smiled softly, as though annoyed he had been beaten by his older- and not very outgoing- brother.

"Three. And I pick George." George groaned before muttering a quiet 'two' under his breath. He then grinned, his gaze falling on Harry. Harry blushed, he looked instinctively at his feet and also answered 'two'.

"What? So you and that Ravenclaw?" George started and Harry shook his head violently.

"So who?" Ron asked, surprised since Harry normally told him everything and he hadn't ever said anything about another girl- or any girl but then Harry knew better than to try and talk to Ron about his baby sister.

Harry pulled a face and leaned away from Ron, sure he would need to move fast when he made his reveal.

"Hermione," he muttered in a high voice.

"WHAT?" a collective voice of Weasley's called in unison from around the whole room.

"It was an accident!" he defended himself, "It was when we were camping, I, I didn't know she was getting changed!"

All the boys laughed, Ron's worried expression leaving his face in an instant as he imagined Hermione's horror in that moment.

"Percy?" Harry asked.

"I'm away to get some air," Percy said flatly and exited the room to the sound of his brother's snorting and giggling in a muffled manor.

"Tell you what?" George began, "Now we've got rid of mister grumpy guts, let's step it up a little."

After a few moments the boys who remained in the room had come up with a new idea. They all wanted to hear when Charlie had got it on and after several minutes of complaining and teasing they had got Charlie to raise his hand and silence them all.

"Fine- ugh it was Alex Jacobs, it was out in Romania. It was wet and sweaty and awkward."

George and Bill both cheered after Charlie had finished, clapping their hands above their heads.

"Ah," Charlie began- looking sheepish. "But now its your turn Bill."

Bill shrugged, totally unphased,

"She was Seraphina Hudson, we were sixteen. Ugh, it was in the Burrow. And- well- she didn't complain."

A cheer came from three of the four boys who hadn't spoken. George sat grinning, aware that he was next. All eyes fell on Ron's older brother, as he- still grinning like a Cheshire cat- began.

"Well, she was hot, sleek blonde hair, curves and really big-." George looked offended, Ron had stopped him in his tracks with a raised hand.

"We have a twenty word limit! As of now."

George rolled his eyes.

"Fine," he began again. "It was Rachel Berrett, in the dormitories, and she got bored after five minutes."

"Sure she did George," Bill said, his voice full of sarcasm. George aimed a slap at Bill but Charlie quickly threw an arm between them, reminding them that next was Ron.

All eyes turned to the youngest Weasley son. Ron swallowed. He remembered every second of it, he remembered her whimpers and sighs, he remembered her warm, the way her body constricted around him.

He must have been looking slightly worried because George spoke before he did.

"Ooh, It wasn't the wife was it Ronald?" He was trying to press Ron's buttons but unfortunately for George it had the opposite effect. Harry looked relieved for a few moments, until Ron shook his head. No it had been Hermione alright. It had been her that started it, climbing into his lap and- he felt a shiver run through himself at the memory.

"No, it was Hermione. In the Burrow, the day before the wedding. It was… it became my patronus conjure." Ron's voice remained flat all the way through.

"What's up Ron? A rare thought? Trying not to get hard thinking about it?" Bill became the teaser this time, but both of his brothers became a howling ball of laughter. Ron shot Harry an apologetic look, he knew Harry didn't need to hear any of this. Harry however, just winked.

The moment there became a lull in the laughter Harry spoke, proudly,

"Ginny Weasley, Gryffindor Common room, year-,"

"STOP!"


End file.
